On Getting Fat

I love seeing pregnant women walking down the street.  Their cute little baby bumps, their warm pregnancy glow, and the slight waddle they've developed to accommodate the beach ball where their waist previously was.  It is all adorable.

However, I have very quickly discovered it is a very different experience when it is happening to you.

Our baby bumps may be cute, but it's incredibly frustrating not being able to do up your pants.  Normally, when things get tight you can just cut the treats, up the miles and be back in shape in no time.  I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that it's going to get worse before it gets better.  Much much worse.

The glow? OF COURSE we have a glow! We're sweating from pumping 25% more blood through our bodies and carrying around all this extra baby weight!

I really have enjoyed watching the bump get bigger every week, but today I had a wee bit of a meltdown.

I was laying on my exercise ball, rolling back and forth trying to stretch my back out (which is permanently aching as it shifts around to accommodate the aforementioned beach ball).  After I was stretched out, I was sitting up against the ball.  I find that sitting pressed up against the ball with my butt still off the ground relieves some of the pressure from my back.  In attempt to readjust, I supported the weight of my body with my arms and tried to shimmy back a bit.  Before I was able to shimmy, my arms buckled, the ball slipped out from underneath me and I literally bounced off the floor.

I sat there for a minute, killing myself laughing, turned to Mitch and said "That was the fattest moment of my life".

Let me tell you, the sensation of rolling off a ball, and bouncing off the floor, unable to get up is (I'm sure) as emotionally jolting as it is hilarious to watch.

I laughed for a moment, and then I cried.  I cried for a good 5 minutes.  Not just little sniffles, no no - wailing, sobbing, streaming tears.

I see in hindsight how ridiculous it was to have a such a meltdown over something so ridiculous but I think it simply stemmed from the stress of experiencing so many changes to my body, SO QUICKLY.  Who knew an exercise ball and a momentary loss of balance was all I needed to open the floodgates.

             - Mama, out.